Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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