# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
