Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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