When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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