Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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