grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
this beer tastes like vomit already
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
