My brain says no but my pants say off.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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