you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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