I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
