I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Betty ford says i'm here all night
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
