A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
