Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
