she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
