butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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