so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
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