I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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