it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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