Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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