I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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