Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
