What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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