i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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