I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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