Just cropdusted the office
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
