I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
