I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
