Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You took a bar mat shot.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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