Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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