I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
