i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
