My first STD was from a foam party
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
A bitchslap is in order.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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