Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
