the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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