hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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