I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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