I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
