one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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