How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
