is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
