Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
