So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
