I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
