Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
