Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
