the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
