did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
