Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
