Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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