I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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