I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
