and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
