Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
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