Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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